Woodstock 4 v German All Stars 0

On an especially humid day, Woodstock managed to keep their cool whilst all around them, others were losing theirs. ‘Strength in depth’ is a phrase coined by many to indicate potential for change and cover in all areas, whether for injuries, holidays, or pedicures. Never was the squad needed more than last weekend. The notable absentees were Hiro, Terry, Dad and Lek. Also not on view were Aidan, Joe and Benedict’s gut, which apparently won’t be making another appearance for a good long while.

For once, the Germans found themselves lacking the meticulous planning that has helped them launch many a new Audi and BMW successfully. They began the game with only 9 players, and in the heat were made to work hard for any possession early on. Unsurprisingly enough, after 5 minutes the Woodstock players appeared on edge, possibly revisiting in their minds their last game against 9 players………….Enough said! The German All Stars counter attacked and had probably their clearest chance of the game, with the Woodstock keeper making a good save and gathering the second ball.

On 8 minutes, Anders had his 1st chance but his shot rolled into the keepers’ hands amidst shouts of ‘backpass’ from everybody else present. On 11 minutes Anders had another chance but screwed it horribly wide. On 18 minutes Anders had a great chance but fluffed it. On 23 minutes the ball fell to Anders inside the box and he failed to bury his chance. On 25 minutes the ball was lofted over the German centre halves. Anders gathered, beat his marker and shot just wide…of the corner flag. From the resulting throw, Andy won back the ball and whipped in a delightful cross onto Anders head, but the ball skidded off his shiny pate and went wide.

The first half proceeded in this fashion, with the Woodstock defence rarely tested and Anders missing a plethora of chances, admittedly with a sprinkling of excellent saves from the German stand-in keeper. The Germans were up to full strength after 15 minutes or so of the first half, but they failed to mount any real chances. By now, every time Schmidt touched the ball, the crowd were booing and his own players were becoming nervous that the breakthrough was never going to come. On 33 minutes however, a dangerous corner was delivered by Chris just outside the penalty spot, and the figure of young Johnson rose to cushion a header gracefully into the top corner of the net.

A couple of chances fell to Pik and Anders after that, but at half time, the score was 1-0 to Woodstock. As comfortable as it had been thus far, the Woodstock faithful know that in 92% of all fixtures this year, Woodstock have been winning 1-0 at half time, and have only won 61% of those games.

Woodstock did something that they haven’t managed to do all season; they scored a 2nd goal relatively quickly after half time. This was despite Noel hurling one of his trademark throws onto the head of Schmidt, who from 6 yards put the ball over the goal and between the rugby posts. However, after winning a free kick 35 yards out on the left hand-side of the pitch, Johnson wanted to get involved in the resultant play. Hannard, however, had been warned by the manager not to let Colin take any free kicks as they are abysmal. After ordering Johnson into the box, Woodstock’s own ‘left-footed Beckham’ delivered a sumptuous ball that eluded not only the German defence, but their hitherto outstanding goalkeeper. With nobody in the goal, and the ball at his foot 4 yards out, Anders managed to nestle the ball into the goal via an upright.

Almost immediately, another chance came and went for Anders as a cross drifted across and Noel (who was Anders best foil of the season) unselfishly played the ball square to Anders when the shot appeared the best option. This left Anders with only the keeper to beat 8 yards out. He managed to hit the side netting. Hopefully you are all getting the gist of the story. If not let me explain: Andy Cole looks clinical when compared to you know who!! The 3rd goal came after another 15 minutes with a delectable 50 yard ball played diagonally over the German defence, and despite a heavy first touch, Anders managed to scramble the ball into the goal.

The 4th goal arrived after 75 minutes, as Chris jinked one way and then the other before delivering a fine cross which Anders ducked to head from 6 yards. Fortunately for Woodstock, after missing his head the ball bounced goalwards off his shoulder. 4-0. There were other golden chances but we got bored of watching them squandered at the weekend so undoubtedly you’re bored of reading them too. Congratulations Woodstock for your first clean sheet of the season!

Man of the Match for Woodstock: Mow (GK)
Man of the Match for GAS: Anders.

Match Report Neil Hannard